SharePoint 2010 crawl log empty

We have close to 7 million items indexed and searchable on our 2010 farm.  However, the crawl logs in the search administration interface all say:

Results returned - 0 Items

There are no URLs in the system that match your request.

No matter how we query.  They even say this if we go to the Host Name tab and click one of the pre-formatted links for "successes", "warnings", etc.  Those links show actual numbers and like I said, we have 7M items searchable, so we know that search IS working... just the crawl log interface is not.

I've seen this same question online so there's definitely an issue here.  So far everyone's who has asked has gotten blown off with answers about fixing the crawls (which it doesn't seem are the issue).

Has anyone else found/fixed this problem?